Well, I fought long and hard for an A, and I got one. It seemed unfair at times, but thankfully, I now have proof that I can do school again.
I only missed 7 points in the entire class. 1 point from being late 1 day on an assignment that I didn't know about. I take about 50 percent blame for that one. The other 6 points missed were from the reading quizzes - proof that the system was unfair. How can I read and take good notes and then fail to properly answer the questions which were supposed to be designed to see if I read the material? Answer, bad questions.
Anyway, I got a 93 percent in the class. Yeah, you read that right. That means that in 5 weeks, we were only graded on 100 points of material.
Final tally: 93%
[UPDATE: I looked at it again, and I actually got a 92.96% in a class where I missed 7 points.
First, if it was 100 points total, I would have had a 93.00 percent.
Second, if it was 99 points total, I would have had a 92.92 percent.
I found the total number of points, though:
Total possible: 99.5
My total 92.5
Percent: 92.96
Go figure. I hate this teacher. Grade-wise, nothing made sense.]
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Did my professor even read the book?
My first book for my first class back at Evangel for my communication degree is a pretty generic book outlining what college life will be like for adult, non-traditional students. It speaks on studying, test taking, note taking, and many other topics.
When talking about test taking, it says to skip questions you don't know the answer to, because later in the test, another question may remind you of the answer or give a jolt to your memory links - good advice and a strategy I've used since elementary school.
Our college has a different system of quiz/test taking where you can do it online. This is great for my class because we only meet for four hours once a week for five weeks. Class time is valuable. However, when taking the tests, you must answer the question in front of you. There is no going back to a previous question.
In the past, I would save for the end questions that required me to think hard. This allowed me to know exactly how much time I had to think about it, while allowing me to complete the rest of the test and not run out of time being stuck on a hard question. I guess this strategy is out too.
On another note, I just turned in my first paper. This will go along way in my mind to determining if I still have the capacity to do schoolwork.
When talking about test taking, it says to skip questions you don't know the answer to, because later in the test, another question may remind you of the answer or give a jolt to your memory links - good advice and a strategy I've used since elementary school.
Our college has a different system of quiz/test taking where you can do it online. This is great for my class because we only meet for four hours once a week for five weeks. Class time is valuable. However, when taking the tests, you must answer the question in front of you. There is no going back to a previous question.
In the past, I would save for the end questions that required me to think hard. This allowed me to know exactly how much time I had to think about it, while allowing me to complete the rest of the test and not run out of time being stuck on a hard question. I guess this strategy is out too.
On another note, I just turned in my first paper. This will go along way in my mind to determining if I still have the capacity to do schoolwork.
Movie Review: Ballet Shoes
I must make an effort to write these movie reviews sooner than I have been lately, so my memory will be more fresh. Ballet Shoes is a movie based on a novel I never read. My wife says the movie covered pretty much everything she remembered in the book.
Gains: +4
Wholesome. The movie was just plain wholesome. A kind man takes in a few orphans. They run into financial difficulties when he disappears. Most of the story is about the bond between the orphans and how they need to work and break into showbiz to get by. One of the created themes is the contrast between the need for hard work and the entitlement mentality of stardom. The movie pulled it off well.
Emma Watson stars as one of the orphans. Her normal onscreen cuteness monopoly is rivaled by that of Lucy Boynton, another of the orphans - the redhead. The other actors all appeared to bring general family nature to the film cast and to the screen. This feeling ebbs into viewers and sort of makes them feel a part of this family.
Losses: -0
At times some of the orphans get a little snitty or snotty, but the issue is properly addressed in the movie by other characters who used either slightly passive-aggressive chiding (by peers) or kind scolding by a motherly figure. The behavior was not tolerated by the other characters, thus making the bad attitudes a gain instead of a loss in this review.
Final Judgement: +4
While not action packed, Ballet Shoes had enough drama and endearing qualities to make it interesting. It's definitley worthy of a second look, though not too soon. The movie deals with serious issues relating to growing up, doing so by focusing on more positive aspects like helping the family out, hard work, facing the lure of stardom, not giving up in the face of difficulty or adversity, treating others as actual people despite their success or failure. I'm tired of a recent trend I've noticed in Hollywood to portray abuse and neglect as the norm, while deceit and self-focus are portrayed as natural responses to hardship.
I'm sure I have a good point in there somewhere, but you may need to interpret my intent.
Gains: +4
Wholesome. The movie was just plain wholesome. A kind man takes in a few orphans. They run into financial difficulties when he disappears. Most of the story is about the bond between the orphans and how they need to work and break into showbiz to get by. One of the created themes is the contrast between the need for hard work and the entitlement mentality of stardom. The movie pulled it off well.
Emma Watson stars as one of the orphans. Her normal onscreen cuteness monopoly is rivaled by that of Lucy Boynton, another of the orphans - the redhead. The other actors all appeared to bring general family nature to the film cast and to the screen. This feeling ebbs into viewers and sort of makes them feel a part of this family.
Losses: -0
At times some of the orphans get a little snitty or snotty, but the issue is properly addressed in the movie by other characters who used either slightly passive-aggressive chiding (by peers) or kind scolding by a motherly figure. The behavior was not tolerated by the other characters, thus making the bad attitudes a gain instead of a loss in this review.
Final Judgement: +4
While not action packed, Ballet Shoes had enough drama and endearing qualities to make it interesting. It's definitley worthy of a second look, though not too soon. The movie deals with serious issues relating to growing up, doing so by focusing on more positive aspects like helping the family out, hard work, facing the lure of stardom, not giving up in the face of difficulty or adversity, treating others as actual people despite their success or failure. I'm tired of a recent trend I've noticed in Hollywood to portray abuse and neglect as the norm, while deceit and self-focus are portrayed as natural responses to hardship.
I'm sure I have a good point in there somewhere, but you may need to interpret my intent.
Friday, September 26, 2008
The Point When You Realize...
Have you ever witnessed the point where you realize the person you are talking to doesn't know a thing about computers? How about when you know that person sits in front of their computer all day, probably making a mess of things?
I was on the phone with a lady who was trying to add information to a PDF form. I took her through the steps on how to save it. I reminded her to save it where she can remember it. I reminded her to just put in a number in the numberical field she was wanting to fill in. Then we did a "Save As...."
When she went back to look for it, she asked me if it saves as a PDF. I told her that a PDF form saves as a PDF, yes. Then she went to where she thought she put it and said she would have to open all the files there because she didn't know what the name of the file was. I reminded her that the name of the file was on the emailed document she received. Then she opened it up and, surprise, the information wasn't there!
At this point, my faith in her abilities was long gone. I had her forward the email to me with the attachment. I put the changes in, saved it, and the information stayed there. I hope this is a progam error and not her error. That would be sad.
I was on the phone with a lady who was trying to add information to a PDF form. I took her through the steps on how to save it. I reminded her to save it where she can remember it. I reminded her to just put in a number in the numberical field she was wanting to fill in. Then we did a "Save As...."
When she went back to look for it, she asked me if it saves as a PDF. I told her that a PDF form saves as a PDF, yes. Then she went to where she thought she put it and said she would have to open all the files there because she didn't know what the name of the file was. I reminded her that the name of the file was on the emailed document she received. Then she opened it up and, surprise, the information wasn't there!
At this point, my faith in her abilities was long gone. I had her forward the email to me with the attachment. I put the changes in, saved it, and the information stayed there. I hope this is a progam error and not her error. That would be sad.
Interview
I've been anxious to post this. I had an interview last week for a full editor's position for a different company. I'm expectantly waiting to hear back today. If I get this job, then God is directing me toward certain goals--ones that have far-reaching changes in store.
My heart brims with expectant hopefullness, which will crash magnificently if I don't get the job. My boss knows about this interview. She told me she hopes I don't get the job. She said this in the complementary way, as in "I like you working here in my office and I don't want to have to replace you."
P.S. If you are a coworker of mine and you are reading this, the information is not common knowledge, so please keep it to yourself. :)
My heart brims with expectant hopefullness, which will crash magnificently if I don't get the job. My boss knows about this interview. She told me she hopes I don't get the job. She said this in the complementary way, as in "I like you working here in my office and I don't want to have to replace you."
P.S. If you are a coworker of mine and you are reading this, the information is not common knowledge, so please keep it to yourself. :)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Sick as a dog and my first test
I'm so fatigued. I'm sick and taking cough medicine to help me sleep at night. The side effect of getting good cough-mediciny rest is that it carries over all day long.
I have my first test since returning to college. It's a 10-question "test" over 8 chapters of a book. It's worth 15% of my grade.
No pressure.
I have my first test since returning to college. It's a 10-question "test" over 8 chapters of a book. It's worth 15% of my grade.
No pressure.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Movie Review: Vantage Point
Finally got to see this movie. The premise intrigued me. Here we go!
Gains: +3
The action was intense from the opening scene. The acting was decent, but not as good as I expected from the high caliber cast. The movie surprised me a couple times. Just when you think you got a handle on what's going on, they change the equation in a way that avoids feeling contrived. The script kept my interest throughout. The violence was prevalent but not overdone, except for showing the main shooting which the story is built around several times. Even that fits into the way they were trying to portray the movie.
Losses: -1
This movie has a surprising amount of action and almost zero amount of motive. Lots of people are making decisions in a world-changing scenario, and the audience is not allowed to know why. As the previews show, the entire movie is based around the assassination of the sitting President of the United States. You are never told why the people want him killed or what their ultimate goals are. Their plan is detailed and intricate, but why take the risk? Why are certain people conspiring together? Why do certain characters behave in certain ways? Cause A leads to Effect A, but what internal motives are ascribed to the cause? In other words, what caused Cause A?
The viewer is never shown.Judgement: +2
All in all, Vantage Point is entertaining, but it ultimately lacked the one element which would have elevated it to the rank of other great action movies. Worth watching, though, in my opinion, but just once.
First Day of School!
Thank God the first day of school is now behind me. For those of you who don't know, I'm beginning classes for a Communications degree. Basically, every Thursday night for the next 22 months I will be in class from 6 to 10.
I'm glad the first class is done. My anxiety has dissolved, like excitement before a long trip that turns into road hardiness once you climb into the car.
It's going to be a long 22 months, that's for sure.
I'm glad the first class is done. My anxiety has dissolved, like excitement before a long trip that turns into road hardiness once you climb into the car.
It's going to be a long 22 months, that's for sure.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
A Legacy of Fear
This post is about the Legacy of Fear my father instilled in me that haunts me to this day.
The story goes that while I was a teenager, I would have deep "getting into God" times. These are the times where I would be reading my Bible and praying consistently. When I'm in these times, I'm sensitive to His Spirit. I don't read and pray on a schedule. Instead, I feel the small nudges on my soul as God asks me to spend time with Him. So I do, and the times are rich beyond measure.
Every so often I would fall off the wagon and have to learn it all over again. Then the cycle's intensity began to increase. I would get close, then something would happen and I'd fall off the wagon again, over and over, quicker and quicker.
It took me a couple years to realize that I was being pushed off. Every time I got close to God and really began to seek Him, my earthly father would become angry at something and go into one of his tirades. In these times, he became oppressive. He would look for tiny details of my life that caused him displeasure, and then he would squeeze. Most of the time he focused on stupid stuff. He would search my bedroom or look closely at my behavior just to find something to pick on. None of it was necessary. None of the things were terrible or even bad, they just were just things for him to control. These times sparked incredible anger and frustration in me, which in turn cut me off from God.
A pattern emerged. I became aware of it and began to test it. I'd go 3 months without devotions, then I would start them and observe the results. Within 1 week, my father would explode. After 1.5 years of testing, the results were conclusive. It was terrible. It was predictable. And ultimately, it was successful. A Legacy of Fear was born.
I lost the battle. I told God that I couldn't speak to Him under these conditions. I surrendered to the persecution and despaired. Around this time, I saw a movie which put forth a premise that really described how I was feeling. In the movie, the antagonist says, "Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers baled, what does that tell you about God?" I knew in my brain that he was wrong, because the premise is based in our perspective not on the personhood of God.
Still, the Legacy of Fear reigned in my life. It's control was devastating. I lost my muse. I lost my optimism. I lost my innocense. It wasn't all bad. I also lost my ignorance. I lost my arrogance. I lost my judgementalism. In essence, I became a different person.
The irony is that when I'm around God or when I read my Bible, my muse awakens. My ability to feel compassion and empathy and my ability to express myself in poetry rise from the ashes of my past and fill me with a vibrance I thought was long gone.
Yet the Legacy of Fear remains, like the White Witch's neverending winter without Christmas. So here I am, longing for the warmth of God's presence but trapped in icy fear. It's not courage I lack. I lack a careless stupidity, a free spirit persona, that would allow me to try to approach God again. I know that if I decide to do so, within 1 week, my father, who I have not talked to in over 4 months, would return with all his garbage, ready to unload some of it on my life.
I much prefer quietly dying of thirst rather than pulling the trigger of the gun someone is pointing at my head. This is melodramatic, of course, but the imagery seems apropos. Still, somewhere deep in my soul, my muse cries out to God. I keep telling it to be quiet, to not disturb the controlled calm I've managed to scrape together. Part of me wants God to stomp into my dark room and shed some light, but another part of me just wants to be left alone. My model for God is tainted, and I have trouble imagining a God who loves me despite my faults.
This song works pretty well for describing my feelings and also my hope. The verses are in one voice and the chorus and bridge are another voice's response.
In my hands
A legacy of memories
I can hear you say my name
I can almost see your smile
Feel the warmth of your embrace
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?
Sweet darling you worry too much, my child
See the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are
Never thought
This day would come so soon
We had no time to say goodbye
How can the world just carry on?
I feel so lost when you are not at my side
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?
Sweet darling you worry too much, my child
See the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are
So sorry your world is tumbling down
I'll watch you through these nights
Rest your head and go to sleep
Because my child, this is not our farewell.
This is not our farewell.
The story goes that while I was a teenager, I would have deep "getting into God" times. These are the times where I would be reading my Bible and praying consistently. When I'm in these times, I'm sensitive to His Spirit. I don't read and pray on a schedule. Instead, I feel the small nudges on my soul as God asks me to spend time with Him. So I do, and the times are rich beyond measure.
Every so often I would fall off the wagon and have to learn it all over again. Then the cycle's intensity began to increase. I would get close, then something would happen and I'd fall off the wagon again, over and over, quicker and quicker.
It took me a couple years to realize that I was being pushed off. Every time I got close to God and really began to seek Him, my earthly father would become angry at something and go into one of his tirades. In these times, he became oppressive. He would look for tiny details of my life that caused him displeasure, and then he would squeeze. Most of the time he focused on stupid stuff. He would search my bedroom or look closely at my behavior just to find something to pick on. None of it was necessary. None of the things were terrible or even bad, they just were just things for him to control. These times sparked incredible anger and frustration in me, which in turn cut me off from God.
A pattern emerged. I became aware of it and began to test it. I'd go 3 months without devotions, then I would start them and observe the results. Within 1 week, my father would explode. After 1.5 years of testing, the results were conclusive. It was terrible. It was predictable. And ultimately, it was successful. A Legacy of Fear was born.
I lost the battle. I told God that I couldn't speak to Him under these conditions. I surrendered to the persecution and despaired. Around this time, I saw a movie which put forth a premise that really described how I was feeling. In the movie, the antagonist says, "Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers baled, what does that tell you about God?" I knew in my brain that he was wrong, because the premise is based in our perspective not on the personhood of God.
Still, the Legacy of Fear reigned in my life. It's control was devastating. I lost my muse. I lost my optimism. I lost my innocense. It wasn't all bad. I also lost my ignorance. I lost my arrogance. I lost my judgementalism. In essence, I became a different person.
The irony is that when I'm around God or when I read my Bible, my muse awakens. My ability to feel compassion and empathy and my ability to express myself in poetry rise from the ashes of my past and fill me with a vibrance I thought was long gone.
Yet the Legacy of Fear remains, like the White Witch's neverending winter without Christmas. So here I am, longing for the warmth of God's presence but trapped in icy fear. It's not courage I lack. I lack a careless stupidity, a free spirit persona, that would allow me to try to approach God again. I know that if I decide to do so, within 1 week, my father, who I have not talked to in over 4 months, would return with all his garbage, ready to unload some of it on my life.
I much prefer quietly dying of thirst rather than pulling the trigger of the gun someone is pointing at my head. This is melodramatic, of course, but the imagery seems apropos. Still, somewhere deep in my soul, my muse cries out to God. I keep telling it to be quiet, to not disturb the controlled calm I've managed to scrape together. Part of me wants God to stomp into my dark room and shed some light, but another part of me just wants to be left alone. My model for God is tainted, and I have trouble imagining a God who loves me despite my faults.
This song works pretty well for describing my feelings and also my hope. The verses are in one voice and the chorus and bridge are another voice's response.
In my hands
A legacy of memories
I can hear you say my name
I can almost see your smile
Feel the warmth of your embrace
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?
Sweet darling you worry too much, my child
See the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are
Never thought
This day would come so soon
We had no time to say goodbye
How can the world just carry on?
I feel so lost when you are not at my side
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?
Sweet darling you worry too much, my child
See the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are
So sorry your world is tumbling down
I'll watch you through these nights
Rest your head and go to sleep
Because my child, this is not our farewell.
This is not our farewell.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Movie Review: The Dark Knight
Friday I saw this movie for the second time. The Dark Knight, the sequel to Batman Begins, is much darker than its predecessor. In fact, this movie was more visceral than many movies I have seen recently. Given this movie's blockbuster records and the fact that it has potential to be the highest grossing movie ever, I figured I should review it.
Gains: +10
The plot and graphic nature of the script danced with an R rating but never stepped over the line. This tightrope walk gave you all the benefits of experiencing the danger and horror while sparing you the gory details. The layered plot was even more savory on the second viewing and whetted my appetite for future viewings. The idea of a terrorist bringing a city to its knees in fear is compelling, but just when hope hangs by its thinnest thread, great decisions are made and great deeds are performed, and not just by Batman. I hate when movie scripts give me reasons to pity villians. These reasons usually whitewash the villian's own choices. The tangled web of conflicting stories the Joker tells gives you more a view into his mindset and goals than into his past. He seemingly comes from out of nowhere and began his campaign against the natural order of his society. This appeared to be more a case of plot function than of oversight.
The Joker is amazing. Rarely does anyone overcome the hype. Heath Ledger crushed the hype beyond anything I have ever witnessed. Too bad he died. I loved the cast: every single character had meaningful lines and roles. The movie was 2.5 hours long and none of the space felt wasted. For the first time in a long time, I felt in real time how long the movie actually was, but I was not interested in having it end.
Without giving anything away, I have to say that the ending of the movie gave me chills. In self-sacrifice Batman gives up the portion of his character he holds most dear, for the good of his city. His reasoning: because his Batman persona can shoulder the responsibility.
The movie is violent, but even after two viewings I cannot remember any blood. This is a small point, but it's a critical hinge, I think. A character is horribly mutilated, but the terrible scarring is more fascinating than disturbing. Though the injury changes him, the guy is still the same man with the same issues he had before his disfigurement.
Losses: -2
The movie is dark and sinister. While this adds a couple points, it also gets logged as a loss. I'm totally okay with darker plots, but for those who are more sensitive, this will take away from the movie. Truth be told, the movie is more sinister than actually scary. Of course, for kids this movie could be nightmare inducing. You are warned. The darkness is not for effect, it serves a purpose in the plot. When things get muddled, when you stare darkness and chaos in the face, only then do you see the true hero reveal himself.
The movie is violent. Even the good guy does massive amounts of violence to bad guys, even as he tries to hold onto his rule of never killing people. The Joker lets nothing stand in his way to total chaos. He will kill anyone or entice people to kill each other in order to achieve his ends.
Edit: After Amber's comment about Katie Holmes and Maggie G., I felt I needed to address it in the blog. Maggie G. is one of my favorite actors. Katie Holmes is not. But after watching the Katie/Christian Bale chemistry and then seeing the Maggie/Bale version, I have to say that Katie was much better for the role. The character Rachel has a critical role in the film, and it would have worked far better if Katie had the role. The chemistry between Batman/Bruce Wayne and Rachel needed Katie Holmes.
Final Judgement: +8
Moral themes ooze abundantly from the pores of this movie but never get preachy or removed from the story. This gives the movie depth way beyond even good Hollywood movies. More viewings of The Dark Knight will help me determine if I think it deserves to replace Serenity as my most favorite movie. It's definitely in my Top 10, which means I will have to look at the list to decide what gets bumped off. Even if you have reservations about seeing it, I would highly recommend that you give it a viewing.
Gains: +10
The plot and graphic nature of the script danced with an R rating but never stepped over the line. This tightrope walk gave you all the benefits of experiencing the danger and horror while sparing you the gory details. The layered plot was even more savory on the second viewing and whetted my appetite for future viewings. The idea of a terrorist bringing a city to its knees in fear is compelling, but just when hope hangs by its thinnest thread, great decisions are made and great deeds are performed, and not just by Batman. I hate when movie scripts give me reasons to pity villians. These reasons usually whitewash the villian's own choices. The tangled web of conflicting stories the Joker tells gives you more a view into his mindset and goals than into his past. He seemingly comes from out of nowhere and began his campaign against the natural order of his society. This appeared to be more a case of plot function than of oversight.
The Joker is amazing. Rarely does anyone overcome the hype. Heath Ledger crushed the hype beyond anything I have ever witnessed. Too bad he died. I loved the cast: every single character had meaningful lines and roles. The movie was 2.5 hours long and none of the space felt wasted. For the first time in a long time, I felt in real time how long the movie actually was, but I was not interested in having it end.
Without giving anything away, I have to say that the ending of the movie gave me chills. In self-sacrifice Batman gives up the portion of his character he holds most dear, for the good of his city. His reasoning: because his Batman persona can shoulder the responsibility.
The movie is violent, but even after two viewings I cannot remember any blood. This is a small point, but it's a critical hinge, I think. A character is horribly mutilated, but the terrible scarring is more fascinating than disturbing. Though the injury changes him, the guy is still the same man with the same issues he had before his disfigurement.
Losses: -2
The movie is dark and sinister. While this adds a couple points, it also gets logged as a loss. I'm totally okay with darker plots, but for those who are more sensitive, this will take away from the movie. Truth be told, the movie is more sinister than actually scary. Of course, for kids this movie could be nightmare inducing. You are warned. The darkness is not for effect, it serves a purpose in the plot. When things get muddled, when you stare darkness and chaos in the face, only then do you see the true hero reveal himself.
The movie is violent. Even the good guy does massive amounts of violence to bad guys, even as he tries to hold onto his rule of never killing people. The Joker lets nothing stand in his way to total chaos. He will kill anyone or entice people to kill each other in order to achieve his ends.
Edit: After Amber's comment about Katie Holmes and Maggie G., I felt I needed to address it in the blog. Maggie G. is one of my favorite actors. Katie Holmes is not. But after watching the Katie/Christian Bale chemistry and then seeing the Maggie/Bale version, I have to say that Katie was much better for the role. The character Rachel has a critical role in the film, and it would have worked far better if Katie had the role. The chemistry between Batman/Bruce Wayne and Rachel needed Katie Holmes.
Final Judgement: +8
Moral themes ooze abundantly from the pores of this movie but never get preachy or removed from the story. This gives the movie depth way beyond even good Hollywood movies. More viewings of The Dark Knight will help me determine if I think it deserves to replace Serenity as my most favorite movie. It's definitely in my Top 10, which means I will have to look at the list to decide what gets bumped off. Even if you have reservations about seeing it, I would highly recommend that you give it a viewing.
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