No posts lately

I have not been posting lately because most of my creative energy has been going into writing a letter to my dad. This leaves my mind scourgified of words and increases my brain's Halo 3 requirements.

I'm unsure if I will send the letter because it's mainly for me and my peace of mind. The goal is accomplished. The arguments that were filling up my mind are quieted. I can now look at the letter any time I feel like obsessing and feel like I've spoken my piece.

Of course, this does nothing for the relationship. As long as I don't send the letter, nothing changes and my father remains insignificant in his forced silence.

So, the question is this: Do I keep the letter to myself and just let the tide of time scrub away the emotional aspect of the loss of my family? Or do I send the letter and risk more frustration and other worse emotions in order to give my father the chance to give me the parental relationship I've always needed but rarely gotten?

Of course, this is my decision, but feel free to sound off.