Thursday, May 29, 2008

Alone in a Crowded Church

My wife and I have a continuing problem of not finding a niche in a church. We don't have kids. We're both homebodies of a sort.

Meeting people is not a huge problem (though it is an obstacle), but what does it take to have other church members take a genuine interest in you? We've always lacked any sort of Christian mentorship or couple-to-couple friendship from church members. (We have some of that from great college friends, but I'm not talking about them.) It does not matter if we are participating in church activities or ministering to others or just warming pews, there just seems to be a lack of personal interest from surrounding people.

Everyone has their own lives. But I wonder how many other people feel as I do. I wonder how many of them I sit next to in church.

I'm capable of skipping church frequently because I know that nobody will miss me when I'm gone and those who would miss me don't go to my church.

5 comments:

Amber said...

Well, I needed to tell you that I ran into the leader of the DINKS (he happens to be Bryan's old pastor and we got together with him) and he said to tell you guys they are looking forward to you coming back (I guess you said you would?)

Also, do you take a personal interest in the people around you, calling them, hanging out and initiating a more personal relationship? If you don't, then I would say you shoulder half the blame. (Hope that is not coming off as offensive, it isn't meant that way.)

Mercutio said...

Is it too much to ask to have someone else initiate the contact for once?

I guess that's the point I'm getting at. I feel like I must do the initiating, every time.

Amber said...

No, I think it should be a two way street, I was just asking if you are traveling your half.

I ask, because I haven't heard you talk about having done so. (That does not mean you have not, but that I have not heard you say so.)

Spd_Rcr24 said...

Try going to church single looking for fellowship. It's twice as hard since everyone is trying to figure out your motivation for being there. Nobody expects you to be there for the right reasons. I sit there with stares of discontent and speculation. I have decided that it's better to go fishing thinking about GOD than sitting in Church wondering what the old biddies and speculators wonder about while I think about fishing.

Diego said...

I think the way we do church here in the US is all wrong to begin with. I don't think we were ever meant to be a giant corporate entity. I think we were meant to be cells. The corporate entities have their uses, don't get me wrong. But you miss out on a lot of the personal aspects of Christendom that way.

I think that group of college friends we belong to is our church, our body of Christian fellowship. We have shared each others' burdens for years. We've prayed together, struggled through things together, and have ministered to quite a few people together. (I miss our random roadside hero trips, by the way.) The best times of worship I've ever had have been with Bryan playing the guitar and a lot of us just sitting around and praising God.

Prayer also means more in that context, because you know that the people praying for you really do care, and will be there if you need them.

We take turns being each others' shepherd and teacher. I've learned a lot about walking with God out of my head, rather than from my heart, from you and Godisnowhere. That has helped keep me walking the path more than a few times, because my heart isn't always in it. (I think that's why God says to love Him with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. (Mark 12:29-30, Duet. 6:5)) I hope I've had something worthwhile to offer in exchange.

Followers