What I've Needed From My Dad.

For those of you who don't know, I am currently ostracized from my family. That may not be the correct word, given that it's kind of self-initiated. My dad would definitely argue that he and mom are open anytime to some kind of restitution. Of course, this is silly, because they want ME to come to THEM.

The truth is that they leveled a judgement against me, then spent 8 months trying to guilt trip me into accepting their wrong perspective. They also tried to use guilt as the coating to make me swallow the bitter pill of their rejection without fighting back. Fat chance. I'm not to blame here, I didn't start it, and I cannot just let their shameful false accusations stand without defending myself.

I have two choices:

1. I could accept dealing with my family and allowing them to feel they are justified to "confront" me on issues which are none of their business, while allowing them, in order to manufacture evidence for their case, to belittle my contributions to the family.

2. I could accept that they will never recognize any validity in my counter-arguments. I have to live with knowing that they have treated me unjustly and yet still blame me for our schism.

I've lived unhappily under Choice 1 for many years. I got tired of it, so I've moved on to Choice 2. Unfortunately, this means that anything but a distant relationship with them is impossible. Their motive is suspect. I cannot trust their words. It seems that, to them, blaming me is in their best interest.

Fine...whatever...but I cannot live around people who view me as they do. It's bad for my digestion.

What I've always needed from my dad since he dumped his load of crap in my lawn is for him to want to clean it up and show me he is working hard for my best interest as well as the family's. I will not be their scapegoat - their sacrificial lamb - any longer. Their problems are their own. When they become hungry for another victim, let them eat themselves for once.

Viva la ME!